In my opinion any man who has had a positive influence or impact in my life gets placed in the category of “father figure”. I am fortunate to have a few men in that category. Some are typical: a pastor in Puerto Rico who always told me “your such a lady” when ever he saw me; or my “big brothers” who taught me to defend myself; or an old family friend who is always praying for me. Others are not your typical father figures: a friend made my last year of high school, or my first boyfriend. Every one looks at the fathers or your typical fathers come father’s day, but this year I want to shine a light on my two unexpected father figures.
Ricardo: This man is kind, courteous, driven athletic, purpose filled, God fearing, family oriented, handsome and a wonderful gentleman. Thanks to him I got to see how a not just a man but a gentleman pursues a woman he is interested in. He has made it his business to make sure I know how much I am worth. There are two things that Ric has said to me that stick out in my mind and I tell myself for encouragement. One is that I am a queen and should be treated as such and that being treated like a princess is beneath me. The second is that I am the strongest substance known to man, I am a diamond. Ric is a prime example of what a real man should be and he is only 19. He has set the standard for any man that comes in my life.
Cedric Elam was an unexpected yet wonderful addition to my life. Never had I expected to be in a relationship with someone like him; Cedric smokes, drinks, swears, and is 5 years my senior. Looking at the surface he wasn’t someone that I would have normally gone for, luckily I saw something in him that made me say yes when he asked me out. If I hadn’t I would have missed out on the spectacular person that is Cedric.
While Ced may have been that polar opposite of what I thought my first boyfriend would be, he was exactly what I needed at the time. His personality and heart over shadow any vices he has that would normally be a turn off for me. Cedric’s considerate, down to earth intelligent, and has an amazing sense of humor. While he was older that me, he never spoke to me as if I was a child. We were as was on the same level. But his time on this earth was an advantage to me, he thought me a lot about men, women, and people in general. Even thought out relationship didn’t last every long, out friendship continues to grow. I honestly consider him one of my best friends. I don’t think that I have ever been so comfortable around, drawn to, or at peace with a person before. Being around Cedric feels like “home”. He has been instrumental in helping me feel more confident with my body, and who I am as a person. He encourages me to be true to myself and to be happy with whom I am. I had not considered myself to be a “nice” person until I met him. He is also consistently reassuring me that he feels my character is on point.
I am extremely blessed to have met both of these men. I have written both of them letters letting them know how much they mean to me but, I don’t think I will ever be able to adequately express myself so they can know how much of an impact they have had on my life. One day these wonderful men will be wonderful fathers.
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